What Kind of People Do You Most Desire To Be Around?

heather o'neill coaching

heather o'neill coachingI want to talk about the importance of the choosing of who we spend our time with. Now I know there are some situations where it is beyond our choice per se on who we spend time with, for example the work sitch. But I want to get into it a bit in regards to the people we spend our social time and our soul sharing time with. And what I mean by that is the sharing of our true authentic selves. Of the us that is no holds barred, no curtains drawn or walls up and with whom we are unafraid of being vulnerable around. And I wonder as I type if people might be thinking hmmm, I don’t really have people to “soul share” with. And if you feel that you do not have people in your life that you can be that way around than I am glad you are reading this post. Because I believe that we can all call into our experience the things that we want. I am not referring to the fact that I have seriously for years have wanted to “hang out” with Eddie Vedder and so I am just going to call him into my immediate and personal experience, to which some might say “good, because I don’t believe that is doable.” (and to that I would have to reply with my actual experiences of him smiling at me and grabbing my hand but that is another story). 🙂

But what I am referring to is getting clear on the essence of who you want to be around and share with and spend time with. When we are not clear on what we want we are basically saying we are OK with whatever we get. And when we are focused alot on the types of folks we don’t want in our lives somehow it seems that those are the types of folks that keep showing up. And if that occurs for you, you especially could benefit from being more mindful of the types of people you DO want to show up in your life.

At the beginning of this year when I was writing down the things that I wanted for myself in 2014 one of those things was to interact with and spend more time with like minded people. I stated it, I read it over often and then I believed it would come to me. I even expected that it would. There is tremendous power in expecting our desires to come to fruition!! And I will tell you, I have an amazing group of people in my life right now. People I am just meeting and people becoming very close friends of mine who are on the same path I am on and who lift me up and support me and challenge my thinking to keep me expanding. And I am beyond grateful. And the beautiful thing is that not only is it more and “better” than I expected, but that anyone can get clear on and manifest what they want in their lives.

It is also important to embody and emulate the qualities in yourself that you desire in those around you. I know that even though we may cultivate kindness and love and generosity that we are going to come across folks that are quite the opposite on occasion in our lifetime. But I truly challenge you to take a very good look at what is going inside of you that causes you to show up in life the way you do and then notice if there is any likeness to the people who keep showing up in your immediate experience. Then I suggest you get very clear on the types of people you prefer to be communing with, even writing down the qualities that you desire these people to possess, and then begin to move towards living into those qualities yourself. Really take some time to “know” the types of people you want to be around. Draw a picture in your mind or again write down a description. But be clear on what qualities are most important to you in the people you spend your time with.

This process does not need to happen overnight, in fact there need not be any kind of time frame put onto it. Many times we desire something and when it doesn’t show up in the amount of time that we have determined it “should” then we deem it not to be happening. And we do an incredible disservice to ourselves. Because when the only direction we are facing in is regarding what hasn’t happened (yet) we miss everything else that is going on around us and perhaps carrying the things, people or information that are bringing us what we want. It is about being open to things showing up for us in ways we haven’t even imagined. Letting go of our old definitions and opening our hearts to a world of possibility. I always say it is up to us to determine the WHAT and the WHY, that is our work. And then we let go of attachment to the WHEN and HOW and let the universe and your higher power take care of the rest!

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