Do You Realize What You Are Looking At?

Heather O'neill Coaching

Female eye close-upInteresting question ,eh? And you may be wondering what exactly I mean by it. Am I referring to the things your eyes fall upon in the physical world, or rather what you see in terms of perception and how you define your reality? Well I actually mean both.

I have caught myself many times desiring something that was right in front of my face and I wasn’t seeing it. Things like the beauty that surrounds where I live. For example, my beautiful flower garden in the spring or the fantastic view of New York City that I have in the winter when the trees are bare.

I had been busy seeing, or focusing on, what was not there. I simply “saw” that I didn’t live by the beach or a body of water or by amazing displays of nature or mountains. So because that’s what I was focused on I failed to see all of the beauty that DID actually surround me.

Or how about the way we look at ourselves. If I asked you to make a list of your 10 best qualities would you have a hard time with that? I am betting most of us would. And sadly I would guess that if I then asked you what your 10 worst qualities were that the answers would come tumbling out faster.

We tend to “see” the perceived worst in ourselves much more than we see our good. Many times we don’t even know how to see our good. Or we think it’s conceited to do so. Or we are so busy seeing other people’s “good” that we become stuck in a state of comparison to something that completely undervalues all of the amazing qualities and beauty we ALL possess.

What about the relationships in our lives? We tend to “see” daily the things our partners and spouses and kids aren’t doing. But have we taken the time to look deeply at all that they do DO for us? Or simply at the way they make us smile or support us or just acknowledge that they love us, in whatever way they know best how to?

Our friends, our family, even our bosses may be offering us much more than we are looking at. Because our heads are turned the other way. Mindful only of what we don’t like about their behavior.

I keep putting the word see in quotes for a reason. Partly, I am almost being facetious because the seeing isn’t really seeing if we don’t look at the whole picture, the good as well as the bad, the light on the other side of the darkness. And I put it in quotes because a lot of times I don’t think we are really seeing at all.

We are measuring things against old beliefs that we have not bothered to question for their validity.

We notice all that is wrong in our lives without taking the time to truly LOOK at what is good and give thanks.

To realize what we are looking at is the catalyst for us to choose what we want to see the most. I am not suggesting overlooking harmful or abusive behaviors. I am talking about choosing our focus so that we feel the best inside.

And it takes practice to do this. It’s not about beating ourselves up because we aren’t seeing what will serve us most. It’s about declaring that you do in fact want to see it all.

I want to see the good in others and in order to do that I have to be looking for it.

The same goes for my inner self. I truly want to feel good about myself. When I do I am better for those that are around me; my son , my family my friends. But to do that I need to define the way I look at myself. Is it in a way that enables me to achieve what I want? Do I tell myself I am worth it and strong and resilient or am I looking at myself in a way that is inevitably going to set me up for failure or sabotage what I really want?

Are you looking at the way you speak to yourself??

Are you looking at your self beliefs to see if they are stopping you in your tracks?

We are all very hard on ourselves, thinking that might push us forward when it really holds us back.

It’s quite beneficial to ask ourselves if we are really seeing where we want to go. We may have a big picture in our head of where we see ourselves in the future, and that is a wonderful thing, I will always suggest dreaming big. But we also need to see the steps that need to be taken in between. We need to see the pathway. We can begin with the end in mind and then create a clear picture of the steps we can take to bring us there.

Being mindful of what we are truly looking at can really have a positive impact on our lives. So again, the question is, do you realize what you are looking at?

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