Are You Broken Too?

heather o'neill coaching

I recently heard a song on the radio in which someone was singing about how much they like that another person is broken, “broken like me.” And I found myself shaking my head and wanting to shout loudly “NO ONE IS BROKEN!! It’s only your mind having you believe such a thing.”

Yes it’s true. Our minds have been highjacking our personal well being for most of our lives with false beliefs like this.

And yes things happen in life to make us feel bad and to make us feel terrible about ourselves. That I do not dispute. And there may be times when we FEEL broken, rejected, awful, full of pain, sad, lonely, defeated, etc. These things are feelings. All feeling states are transient. It is our mind that holds them in place and for the most part were never taught that in “fighting” these shi**y feeling emotions we only hold onto them longer. Because we are resisting them, and what we resist persists.

So then we have all of this resistance happening and we get STUCK in feeling spaces. Stuck within any of those low vibe emotions that I mentioned above. And then our mind, which is controlled by our ego self (whose job it is to define, compare, make better than, fear being less than etc.) spits out a blanket statement such as “I am broken” and that’s all she wrote folks. We “become” broken. Because our thoughts said so and because if a thought said something then it must be true, right?? NO!!! NOT TRUE!!!

We ARE NOT our thoughts. We are the thinker of our thoughts.

Our true self, our high self, our consciousness is what is the awareness over what we are thinking. That part of our self IS. That part of our self is our essence, and it is Divine, not broken. Never broken. But because we have not been taught to become very acquainted with our own awareness in order to be merely the OBSERVER of our thought patterns, we simply accept anything running through our mind as the gospel truth.

And the real truth is that we CHOOSE what we think about and what we focus on. And that we are the co creators of our life experience. And it is through our thoughts, which cause us to feel certain types of ways,  that our energy is affected and that then attracts things into our life that match that energy level. So if I am walking around telling myself how broken I am, I can ASSURE you that life will continually provide me with examples of that.

If you ever want to know what is really going on inside of yourself take a look at what is going on around you. The people you come into contact with, the experiences you have, the reasons you find to be either unhappy or happy are all a reflection of what is happening within yourself.

So if I can recognize that feeling broken is merely a feeling, and I can accept that in this moment I simply feel that way, I can be conscious of not building any belief systems around that.  If I let those thoughts run rampant then I will attract more thoughts that match that belief, like “no one loves me,” “I am never good enough at anything I do,” “I will never be happy,” etc.,  This is what happens with the way we think and feel – like attracts like. So when we are not mindful of what is going on in our heads we can get caught on very negative and speeding thought trains.

And that’s all they are. Thoughts!!! I can take every one of those thoughts and blow holes in it if I want to. I can ask myself “is that REALLY true, that NO ONE, not one person loves me?” Because of course it’s not. But that’s what our minds would have us believe. And when we go though life completely unaware of this, never cultivating mindfulness that we are in charge of choosing what we focus on, we can drive ourselves very far down a dark rabbit hole.

Because while life may not always be sunshine and rainbows we certainly can be mindful of not creating thunderstorms and hurricanes by convincing ourselves that we are broken! We can tell ourselves things like while I may feel like complete crap at the moment I know this will pass. I will allow myself to feel awful in this moment and then I will allow it to move on instead of projecting this into a future I don’t want. It feels much better to tell yourself “tomorrow is a new day,” “this too shall pass,” and anything like that that feels better for you.

So my suggested action step for you is to start really noticing how you feel. Meditation is an amazingly wonderful tool to help us become aware of our own awareness and to become a student of our own thinking. And when you feel bad, ask yourself what thoughts are going through your head to make you feel that way. And then remind yourself that a thought is JUST a thought, and thoughts can always be changed. They are your thoughts. You can look for better feeling one. And write down the thoughts that feel better to create more momentum in that direction. Events are neutral until we give them meaning. So choose wisely, for you are creating your life experiences through them!

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